Aussie Soap

It always amuses me when other cultures attempt to imitate the Aussie way.

The UK show "Fry and Laurie" did a piss funny take on Aussie soap operas with this video. It's old but a bloody ripper.

Christopher Hitchens is not great!

Will you stop fucking rocking backward and forward... it makes you look stupid!

Hang on.... you are!



Tip of the Kippah to Atheist Media Blog

Jesus Is A Cunt!

This whole show is about an hour long and I bet you tear up while watching it and feel angry afterward!

African Witch Children is a disturbing program looking at the superstition and poverty, coupled with Christian teaching in Nigeria/Africa, and the subsequent effect upon the lives of innocent young children. It contains disturbing images.

You wont believe some of the things done to these proclaimed witch children... set on fire, nails hammered in their heads, tortured, abandoned, murdered... in the name of Jesus!

It shows the incredibly dangerous delusions superstition can create that can cause a mother to kill her own child.



Part 2 - Part 3 - Part 4 - Part 5 - Part 6

Dashboard Jesus

Just over a minute long and made me laugh... Good old Aussie humour!

Spoiled

Bugger... I was going to get this book and read it... but there's no bloody point now!


Hat tip to LOL God

"I'll be back!"... unfortunately

I'm not a big fan of Arnie but I loved the "Terminator" series. Action from start to finish, annoying brat Son and mega-tough Mum with a Terminator trying to kill said annoying brat 'cause he changed history in the future... hmmmm...

I found this great video of the Terminator arriving on the 25th December 00... and had to share it!




Pisser :)

ومن الغباء أن بيرنز

The title is supposed to say "The stupid, it burns" direct from a translator... I'd love to know if it means that in Arabic, because if I re-translate it says "It is foolish that Burns"... not quite what I intended but anyhoo... (and why a capital B in Burns... is that a reference to the Simpsons?)

This clip redefines "stupid"!

A debate between an Iraqi "Researcher on Astronomy" and a physicist on Iraqi television. Apparently, this is an important question in the Islamic world...

-From the transcript-

Interviewer: Lunar and solar eclipses, sunset and sunrise, and the changing of seasons -- how would you explain all these phenomena, if the Earth is not round, as you claim?

Fadhel Al-Sa'd: The sun circles the Earth because it is smaller than the Earth, as is evident in Koranic verses.

Have you ever seen how the sun moves? I have seen the sun moving. The sun makes one move every 24 hours.

What I say is based on Koranic science. He bases his arguments on the kind of science that I reject categorically -- the modern science that they teach in schools. This science is a heretic innovation that has no confirmation in the Koran. No verse in the Koran indicates that the Earth is round or that it rotates. Anything that has no indication in the Koran is false.




"Anything that has no indication in the Koran is false."

"The sun circles the Earth because it is smaller than the Earth, as is evident in Koranic verses."

Can you say "moron"?

Christains wouldn't say anything like this... would they?

Creation 'Science' Made Easy

I just had to post this. You have to subscribe to YouTube user potholer54's Channel.

The 'Made Easy' series is designed to explain the evidence that shows how we got here, from the Big bang to human migration out of Africa, and to counter the unsupported idea that this somehow happened through the power of an invisible being.

There's a great collection of very classy videos, here's one I really enjoyed.

Perth Atheists with PodBlack Cat

At the Perth Atheists' last meeting we had a great talk by Kylie Sturgess of PodBlack Blog and I thought I'd share it here. Kylie is a remarkable person and is in the forefront of teaching the next generation in Western Australia.

Thanks heaps Sturgo

I'm going to record our talks whenever possible so hopefully there will be more to come.

So please enjoy Perth Atheists first presention...

Belief in Weird Things! (35MB 40mins MP3)

Recent Developments and Educational Directions. July 2008

A look at research into belief of the paranormal and pseudoscientific and how teachers and others can contribute to rational thinking.

Still Around

I thought I'd better explain why I've been so quiet lately.

Our business has been extremely busy and taking most of our time and the little spare time I've had I've concentrated on the Perth Atheists.

Another disconcerting issue is my health. I've had an almost constant headache for the last 2 and a bit months and an amazing condition called ophthalmic migraine which causes the strangest visual effects. My doctor has managed to control my blood pressure the major reason for my headaches and they are slowly becoming a thing of the past and the brain fog is lifting. Yay!

My sedentary lifestyle is obviously an issue as I never exercise. In fact going to work involves walking down stairs and sitting at a bench all day and then walking upstairs again 10 hours later. We just ordered a Crosstrainer workout machine so hopefully I can force myself to spend an hour a day on that. I'm sure Thump will push me onto it... I guess it's time to stop the smoking and drinking as well... bugga

As most of you all know we had Fiery stay here for two weeks which was a lot of fun even though we were working most of the time. It was unfortunate I was in the middle of massive headaches while she was here and it took a while for her to understand why I was so grumpy in the mornings but I think she enjoyed her stay. We certainly enjoyed the time with our adopted sister and miss her deeply. Jake still likes to lie on her bed and Thump's son calls it Fiery's bedroom :)

All in all things are brightening up. Thanks for stopping by and I'll attempt to get back into posting, even if it's just the odd pisstake I find.

No Cream, No Nivea, No Vaseline, No nothing!... WTF?

What a pile of Islamotard toss! I reckon he's getting the HORN thinking about it. I wonder how many women got raped after this pathetic tirade. Sick fucks!

Fucking Dinosaurs in the Bible?

Found this over at Altoona Atheist and loved it. Ahhh Pisstake heaven.

EXPELLED: All Pisstakes Required

I've followed the wretched movie EXPELLED story for ages now and as always, in true "laugh religion off the planet" style, pisstakes are appearing. Here's a couple to enjoy.

Sexpelled: No Intercourse Allowed
Sexpelled: No Intercourse Allowed tells of how Sex Theory has thrived unchallenged in the ivory towers of academia, as the explanation for how new babies are created. Proponents of Stork Theory claim that "Big Sex" has been suppressing their claim that babies are delivered by storks. Furthermore, Stork Theory proponents warn of the serious moral dangers posed by teaching children that sex has a function. They point out that evil dictators such as Hitler, Stalin and Mao all believed in Sex Theory, and they may have even had sex themselves.


-------------------------------------------------------------

FSM Expelled
Is the Flying Spaghetti Monster being kept out of big academia? Is FSM creationism a viable origins theory? This new movie seeks to discover the truth?

Not More Fart Jokes!

Sorry I've been so quiet lately. The business is going and growing crazy and leaves little time for anything else. I still have to organise a bedroom and finish installing our projector in the home theatre system because someone's coming to see us soon... So much to do, so little time. Oh well!

This is guaranteed to make you laugh though...

How To Speak Aussie

Fiery... this is for you.

SOURCE

"A New Zealand man has been sentenced to community service after telling police he had been raped by a wombat and the experience had caused him to start speaking "Australian".
Arthur Cradock, a 48-year-old orchard worker from Motueka on South Island, rang police on February 11 to say he was being raped by the slow-moving Australian marsupial at his home, The Nelson Mail reported.

He rang back soon afterwards to say he was withdrawing his complaint against the wombat, a court was told.

"Apart from speaking Australian now, I'm pretty all right you know," he told police in the second call.

Cradock pleaded guilty to using a phone for a fictitious purpose and was sentenced to 75 hours community work.
Prosecutors said alcohol played a large part in Cradock's life, although his defence lawyer said he was not drunk on the afternoon of the phone calls."

Ohhh... those pesky wombats!

Shocking Crimes in Perth

I'm still here... just really busy.

I thought I'd show the rest of the world some of the shocking crime going on in Perth these days. Is there no end to this?

SOURCE
"GNOMES were among a hoard of allegedly stolen garden statues found in the boot of a car that was so weighed down by its stash it was scraping the ground.

Police stopped a Holden Commodore with three men inside in suburban Langford about 11pm yesterday when they noticed the back of the car was hitting the ground. They found 33 ceramic and clay ornaments in the boot. The statues weighed between two and 25kg each and ranged from snails to gnomes and elephants, with an estimated value of $1,500.

Three Langford men, aged 19, 26 and 30, have been arrested and will be charged by summons with trespassing and stealing"

Of course a quick look at The Worst Of Perth will show you why people go to such great lengths to remove them.

More Pisstakes

OK I got awards coming out my arse (ass is a donkey... Equus asinus!)

Thanks Poodles and Sean for the thought. I'm going to break the chain and risk not getting a visit from Santa this year... cause that's the way I roll... (actually I feel bad but I don't want to only choose 10 of the blogs that make me feel good)

I think I might change my blog to "Blasphemous Pisstakes". I'm really time restrained but enjoy a good laugh at the end of a day... after a day of peering into service manuals, broken shit and dealing with psychotic customers... I need it lite & easy...

Sooo... A couple of great pisstakes caught my attention recently and almost made me loose my lunch...

The Lord Will Not Be Mocked!
I haven't watched Edward Current before and it took a couple of minutes to realise he couldn't be serious... so top marks.



and of course a video that gives us a much better understanding of these huge Catholic ceremonies...



Remember, if these don't make you laugh there is a 30 day, "no questions asked" refund... just send an email request to cunts[at]religion.suks

Kent Hovind's Floater

This is old but hey, I just saw it.

I love Ali G, he's a pisstake champion and who better to pisstake than Kent Hovind.
The look on Kent's face is priceless...



Keep it real... Respect!

Tagged... again

OK. I'll play

Fiery tagged me with a the Nearest Book meme...

I must...
1. Pick up the nearest book with more than 123 pages.
2. Go to page 123 in the book.
3. Find the first 5 sentences.
4. Post the NEXT 3 sentences.
5. Tag 5 people

Now I'm in the workshop so it's mainly catalogues which would be boring... looking... looking... hmmm. I will have to look into the Technical Manual pile... and the nearest one with 123 pages is...

The Radio Handbook (Fifteenth Edition 1959)
Published by Editors and Engineers Limited
Summerland, California, USA

and page 123 sentence 6,7 & 8 says...

"The correct value of operating bias, and the static plate current for the push-pull tubes may be determined from the Eg vs. Ip curves, which are a derivation of the Ep vs. Ip curves for various values of Eg.
The Eg vs. Ip curve may be constructed in this manner: Values of grid bias are read from the intersection of each grid bias curve with the load line. These points are transfered to the Eg vs. Ip graph to produce a curved line, A-B."

Well Fiery, you asked :)

And of course there's no one left to tag so I'll take my curves and bugger off!

PS... Why do Americans drop the L out of solder. I've always wondered that. "Soddering" seems like something consenting adults do ;-)

Sad Chicken

I've just finished invoicing the days work and look down and see this...

Jake's done very well. This is his xmyth present and it's February.

This is one of the longest serving rubber chickens we've ever seen.

Respect...

waaaahhhhhhhh

In my last post I said, "Sorry I'm being a lazy poster but we are so damn busy I hardly get time to scratch... (not that I need to!)"

Business has gotten even busier (listen to my skite) so I've been upping my fees trying to slow them down, give a few of them pause before they bring me another broken piece of electronic equipment that they absolutely must have before Friday even though it's Wednesday arvo and it's been busted for 2 weeks running. It's not working. They're still pouring through the door.

I cope with oceans of beer and Skyping my new online pals. And I take the time to scratch. I need to now. Morons are starting to give me hives and they've all got equipment for me to take a quick look at ASAP.

Had Sean over twice while he was in Perth. Hell of a guy that one.

Jake needs a wee so I'd best go find somebody to take him outside to do his business. I can't be arsed because I burn like a lobster if the sun touches me skin.

On ya for checkin' in on me!

Tom Cruise and The Little Bit of Wee

Sorry I'm being a lazy poster but we are so damn busy I hardly get time to scratch... (not that I need to!)

Altoona Atheist posted this and I'm sure a little bit of wee came out while I watched it :)



Of course the original inspiration for this pisstake came from here... What a fucktard... Remind me never to fly with this tool...

The Defective Spoon

Found this from YouTube user Vendel via JREF and cracked up. Uri Geller has to be one of the biggest wankers of my lifetime... Bring on the pisstake...

WHAAAAAA..........................................

We reopened on Monday after a nice break and have been totally rushed of our feet since. A record number of jobs booked in in 3 days. I need a holiday!

Today was a rightoff! I spent 5 hours working around a driver software bug in a studio install I've been doing that required windows registry hacks to make it stable. I was pulling my hair out... We had no Internet or phones and the projects manager's mobile was flat. Just me and the 8 PCs. Oh and it got to 44C today. My brain hurts.

So when I got home I thought I'd better see what my friends are up to and I saw T&A's post.

Just what I need to calm down so I went through his steps...

Follow the links provided and randomly come up with a band name, album title, and a cover.

1. Go to this link and use the title of the subject as your bands name.

2. Then go to this link and use the last four words of the last quote as your album title.

3. Follow this link and use the third picture for your album cover.

4. Use photoshop or whatever you have and create the album by putting all of these components together.

So, without further ado please welcome the latest atheist pop sensation...

BookRunner

Thanks T&A I needed that.

Doubting Faith

Benazir Bhutto Assassination Malware

Be very afraid when you see messages like this that tell you you need to download something to view a video or the like.

SOURCE

There's been a bit of discussion about malware-laced codecs recently and annoyingly enough within hours of the assassination of former Pakistani Prime Minister Benazir Bhutto, malware authors started capitalizing on this news to spread a new fake codec. This time it is purported to be an assassination video of the former PM.

On the McAfee Avert Labs Blog, Rahul Mohandas writes, "These malware authors attempt to social engineer users into believing they are downloading a legitimate codec for playing the video. At least 10 Blogger websites are observed to be hosting this fake video (at the time of writing this blog) which redirects the users to the typo-squatted domain containing fake codec . . ."

There are a plethora of websites which attempt drive-by installations when unsuspecting users visit websites returning search engine results for “Benazir Bhutto”. Many of these compromised webpages have malicious scripts injected into the webpage which points to the 3322 domain. These webpages contain obfuscated variants of the MS06-014 exploit which is perhaps one of the most popular of all the exploits we see on a daily basis.
This fake Trojan Codec is detected by the current DATS as Puper. The downloaded exploit is detected as VBS/Psyme and the executable is detected as Generic Downloader.c

Judging by comments on the McAfee blog this trojan is very difficult to remove so y'all be carefull out there and make sure your OS and Anti-Virus is being updated on a regular basis.

Japanese Tradition

"Her in doors" said I don't laugh that much so if I find something funny I should post it.

Well we all know I love a good pisstake and this is one of the best.
Enjoy a lesson on how to eat Sushi... you may need a pencil and paper to take notes on measurements and angles :)



At least you now know why most Japanese peoples feet smell of vinegar ;-)

Sexual Consent

Found this over at BS Alert and found it rather amusing and worth sharing...

New Blog in Town

Poodles over at Atheist Rants has started DOUBTING FAITH, a blog for people who are confused about their faith or religion.

Often people get to a point where it all seems too confusing and they wish for alternative views without judgemental, proselytizing or irrational thoughts clouding things up.

Poodles has got a group of Atheists together who are committed to offering a clear and concise and rational objective view for anyone who cares to ask a question.

If you have doubts or even just seek to understand what Atheist means please post a question to Doubting Faith

You might even find me there...

God Hates Women

This picture made me laugh at first and made me want to make a comment like "Is this the first Wet Burqa Competition"... then it made me feel kind of sad... now I'm not sure what I feel.

Pharyngula had an interesting link to this article regarding women and religion... well worth a look.

...Like the rest of the prophets, Mohammad probably materialized from the heavens. After all, a woman's body is a dirty, sinful thing, which is why women are taught from an early age to be ashamed of their bodies and to keep them covered always...

Conditions of Islamic Dress Code
1. Clothing must cover the entire body, only the hands and face may remain visible (According to some Hiqh Schools).
2. The material must not be so thin that one can see through it.
3. The clothing must hang loose so that the shape / form of the body is not apparent.
4. The female clothing must not resemble the man's clothing.
5. The design of the clothing must not resemble the clothing of the non-believing women.
6. The design must not consist of bold designs which attract attention.
7. Clothing should not be worn for the sole purpose of gaining reputation or increasing one's status in society.

Crazy stuff!

Late Greetings

I just got this today. It must have got caught up in the mail. Thanks George.

Guest Blogger: Cliff v Led Zeppelin

Recently T&A had a post about THE Led Zeppelin concert.
As I commented, a dear friend of mine successfully bought a ticket and I asked if he could write a bit of a review. He has happily obliged and bought back Thump and I a T-Shirt as well! (We are having them framed)

Cliff is a Professional Audio supplier to Radio, TV and Recording Studios, a Drummer and an Audio Engineer/Producer.

I flew into London a couple of days before the concert and the first thing that hit me was the enormity of this concert. There was no one in the whole of Great Britain that didn't know that this concert was on, why it was on, where it was on and who was playing. Even my 86 year old mother up in Scotland knew all about it. The vibe about this event was incredible. There was more fervor about it than the last general election when Tony Blair got ousted!

This was a benefit concert to raise funds for the educational foundation that Ahmet Ertegun started just before he died in November 2006 at age 83 backstage at a Rolling Stones concert. Ahmet was the founder of Atlantic Records along with his brother Neshui.

Part of the process to eliminate ticket touts was that you had to front up at the venue to collect your ticket the day before or on the day of the event and produce your confirmation email, the credit card you purchased your ticket with and photo ID. You were then wrist banded and given your ticket. At the concert to get in you had to show your ticket, wrist band and randomly picked people were asked for there photo ID.

The O2 which is the renamed Millennium Dome is a massive complex. Even the surrounding forecourt and entrance to the North Greenwich Tube Station where most people arrive and depart is huge. Once inside you soon realise that the 20,000 seat auditorium is only part of the facility. The entrance lobby which includes the box office, merchandise stands, cafes and restaurants is about the same size as any city square you care to mention. Then off to the right is a boulevard with a continuous succession or bars, cafes, restaurants, night clubs. skating rink, karaoke recording studio, and more outlets still under construction. It's basically a whole city centre under the one roof.

At the merchandise stand the T-Shirts, Mugs, Programmes and Limited Edition Posters all sold out by the end of the concert. People who missed out on tickets in the ballot were going to the venue just to purchase what they could as a memento of this historic event. The organisers admitted that they had entirely underestimated the demand for these items and had an emergency shipment of more T- Shirts printed up the afternoon of the concert and they sold out even before the concert started. They are now collectors items.

The concert started at 7:15pm with Harvey Goldsmith (the promoter) announcing that the concert had raised enough money to secure, in perpetuity, a full scholarship to a university in the USA, one in Turkey and one in the UK and because they had raised so much money they had secured 5 full scholarships to a brand new university which was being built right next door to the O2. All of these scholarships are for ever! The concert was already a success.

After 5 minutes of a documentary about Ahmet, which was part of the DVD that is inside every programme, we were asked to welcome onstage the house band for the first half of the concert which was Bill Wyman's Rhythm Kings followed by Keith Emerson from Emerson, Lake and Palmer, Chris Squire from Yes, Simon Kirke from Bad Company and Alan White from a whole string of UK bands. This instant Super Group started the concert off with non other than Fanfare For The Common Man - the crowd erupted! IT WAS ON!!!!

Following on from this was a constant procession of artists who came on and did a song or two backed by the well rehearsed Rhythm Kings. There was Paulo Nutini, the last artist to be signed by Ahmet, Michael Sanchez in his bright red Zoot Suit, Alvin Lee, Paul Rogers, Maggie Bell and Foreigner accompanied by the St. Lukes Anglican Choir in a fitting rendition of I Want To Know What Love Is.

This brought the first half of the 4 hour concert to a close.

The stage was cleared the house lights went down and an old black and white newsreel of Led Zeppelin's first tour in America was projected onto the rear screen. The band entered the stage - the crowd erupted - Led Zeppelin launched straight into Good Times Bad Times and the electricity in the air was amazing! Ramble On was next. Third song in, Black Dog, had the crowd singing as loud as the band was playing, an experience I'll never forget. In My Time Of Dying, For Your Life, Trampled Underfoot, Nobody's Fault and No Quarter followed. Robert Plant announced that there were people from 50 different countries there that night and collectively we had created the 51st. then sang Since I've Been Loving You. This was followed by the mammoth Dazed and Confused featuring the unique violin bowing technique of Jimmy Page playing his twin neck guitar while encased in the Green Laser Light cage of old. Classic stuff! He then launched into the intro of Stairway To Heaven and honestly I have never witnessed a crowd reaction like it! Hysterical screaming and cheering don't even come close to describing the euphoria at that moment. Every guitarists Badge of Honour is to learn that opening sequence and here in front of us was the man who wrote it, playing it for us WOW!
The Song Remains The Same blistered forth followed by Misty Mountain Hop and finishing the set with the brilliant slow pounding of Kashmir.

And talking of pounding - I am here to tell you that Jason Bonham is every inch his fathers son! This guy drove that band with all the power, skill and dexterity of his dad. Reading an interview with him in the days before the concert he was hoping to do justice to his dad's memory and knew he would be feeling his dad's presence over his shoulder in this full circle moment in time. John Bohnam Was There! The guy I sat next to on the train to Scotland the following day had been at the concert and he admitted to knowing nothing of drums or drumming but expressed amazement at how tight the band played and how good the drummer was.

If they thought that they were getting away with no encores then they were sadly mistaken. The band left the stage to rapturous applause and cheering which lasted unabated until they reappeared about four minutes later and treated us to Whole Lotta Love. Words cannot describe the reaction to this. The crowd went ballistic. Off they went again to a thunderous reaction, shaking the whole building then returning a couple of minutes later to give us the ultimate version of Rock and Roll. That was it! The band members linked arms and took several bows. Jason Bonham then broke free and turned to the other band members dropping to his knees and performing the "We Are Not Worthy" genuflect several times before they all exited the stage for the final time.

In the 40 minutes or so it took to exit the building along the boulevard (I was seated stage left at the side) the vibe still continued out into the night air with several Mexican Cheers which would start at the back of the crowd and continue through to the people who were at the exit. Even with alcohol available at the concert there were no incidents and everyone was too high on the experience as comrades to cause any trouble. I can't wait for the DVD.

As Witnessed By Cliff Blackburn