Saturday, 29 March 2008

How To Speak Aussie

Fiery... this is for you.


"A New Zealand man has been sentenced to community service after telling police he had been raped by a wombat and the experience had caused him to start speaking "Australian".
Arthur Cradock, a 48-year-old orchard worker from Motueka on South Island, rang police on February 11 to say he was being raped by the slow-moving Australian marsupial at his home, The Nelson Mail reported.

He rang back soon afterwards to say he was withdrawing his complaint against the wombat, a court was told.

"Apart from speaking Australian now, I'm pretty all right you know," he told police in the second call.

Cradock pleaded guilty to using a phone for a fictitious purpose and was sentenced to 75 hours community work.
Prosecutors said alcohol played a large part in Cradock's life, although his defence lawyer said he was not drunk on the afternoon of the phone calls."

Ohhh... those pesky wombats!

Wednesday, 26 March 2008

Shocking Crimes in Perth

I'm still here... just really busy.

I thought I'd show the rest of the world some of the shocking crime going on in Perth these days. Is there no end to this?

"GNOMES were among a hoard of allegedly stolen garden statues found in the boot of a car that was so weighed down by its stash it was scraping the ground.

Police stopped a Holden Commodore with three men inside in suburban Langford about 11pm yesterday when they noticed the back of the car was hitting the ground. They found 33 ceramic and clay ornaments in the boot. The statues weighed between two and 25kg each and ranged from snails to gnomes and elephants, with an estimated value of $1,500.

Three Langford men, aged 19, 26 and 30, have been arrested and will be charged by summons with trespassing and stealing"

Of course a quick look at The Worst Of Perth will show you why people go to such great lengths to remove them.

Monday, 10 March 2008

More Pisstakes

OK I got awards coming out my arse (ass is a donkey... Equus asinus!)

Thanks Poodles and Sean for the thought. I'm going to break the chain and risk not getting a visit from Santa this year... cause that's the way I roll... (actually I feel bad but I don't want to only choose 10 of the blogs that make me feel good)

I think I might change my blog to "Blasphemous Pisstakes". I'm really time restrained but enjoy a good laugh at the end of a day... after a day of peering into service manuals, broken shit and dealing with psychotic customers... I need it lite & easy...

Sooo... A couple of great pisstakes caught my attention recently and almost made me loose my lunch...

The Lord Will Not Be Mocked!
I haven't watched Edward Current before and it took a couple of minutes to realise he couldn't be serious... so top marks.

and of course a video that gives us a much better understanding of these huge Catholic ceremonies...

Remember, if these don't make you laugh there is a 30 day, "no questions asked" refund... just send an email request to cunts[at]religion.suks

Saturday, 1 March 2008

Kent Hovind's Floater

This is old but hey, I just saw it.

I love Ali G, he's a pisstake champion and who better to pisstake than Kent Hovind.
The look on Kent's face is priceless...

Keep it real... Respect!

Tagged... again

OK. I'll play

Fiery tagged me with a the Nearest Book meme...

I must...
1. Pick up the nearest book with more than 123 pages.
2. Go to page 123 in the book.
3. Find the first 5 sentences.
4. Post the NEXT 3 sentences.
5. Tag 5 people

Now I'm in the workshop so it's mainly catalogues which would be boring... looking... looking... hmmm. I will have to look into the Technical Manual pile... and the nearest one with 123 pages is...

The Radio Handbook (Fifteenth Edition 1959)
Published by Editors and Engineers Limited
Summerland, California, USA

and page 123 sentence 6,7 & 8 says...

"The correct value of operating bias, and the static plate current for the push-pull tubes may be determined from the Eg vs. Ip curves, which are a derivation of the Ep vs. Ip curves for various values of Eg.
The Eg vs. Ip curve may be constructed in this manner: Values of grid bias are read from the intersection of each grid bias curve with the load line. These points are transfered to the Eg vs. Ip graph to produce a curved line, A-B."

Well Fiery, you asked :)

And of course there's no one left to tag so I'll take my curves and bugger off!

PS... Why do Americans drop the L out of solder. I've always wondered that. "Soddering" seems like something consenting adults do ;-)