Tuesday, 4 December 2007

CUNTS but not what you think

I’m an annoyingly honest person. I call a spade a fucking spade and can’t conceive ripping someone off! Simple.

This becomes a problem because in what I do I always seem to upset customers by being brutally honest about the choice of gear they own and their ability to understand what it does. A knowledge of the principles of recording, playing mixing etc will allow you to get the most from your gear even if it is cheap and featureless… but it certainly isn’t my job to train people… or explain sound principles or basic fault finding… perhaps the salespeople should do that or at least confirm the person has a brain slightly larger than their ego.

Our (Thump Thump Eyes & I) business is quite specialist in what we do. We repair and service professional audio equipment used in studios and nightclubs and bands and theatre… anything that plugs in and makes noise so we get a huge range of customers that are using very specialist equipment that often requires years of experience to understand the music/acoustic/sound theory … let alone how to actually operate it.

So… 40% of our business is professional recording studios, TV studios, radio stations, location sound recordists, production companies, touring bands, international acts, professional DJs etc all “Calmly Using New Technology Successfully”. No problems. Everyone's happy. Nice earner… CUNTS…

40% of our business is repairing cheap, crappy, poorly made, 600 parts supplied by the lowest bidder JUNK… I’m talking DJ mixers, turntables, soundcards, keyboards, guitar amps, speaker systems, etc all used by wannabes or weekend warriors that have no concept of how to patch, mix, play, edit, master etc and for some reason whenever that wonderful piece of equipment doesn’t make them sound like a million bucks… it’s my fault. “Consumers Using New Technology Stupidly”… Always a drama, hours of trying to explain how it works… CUNTS…

20% is the frigging churches… these are worse than wannabe rock stars 'cause they “believe” the equipment is faulty… they “believe” they know how it works…they “believe” they have all the experience in the world… they “believe” it’s good ‘cause they’ve been on the xwad forums and purchased (tax free) the best quality gear they can… but…whoops… they’re fucking stupid… and it sounds like shit… “Christians Using New Technology Stupidly”… Always a drama, hours of trying to explain how it works… CUNTS…

You know I’ve been blessed three times this week already by pastors because I explained how something worked, proved their gear worked and suggested perhaps the fault was possibly not in their gear but in the way it’s wired or being used…I tell them perhaps “Christ Understands, Not The Sheep”… CUNTS… baaa

Everyone wants their gear fixed today… Oh yes they knew it was fucked last Saturday and it’s Thursday already but “we really need it for the weekend”… “Crazy Unorganized No Talent Shits”… CUNTS…

I have a pile of jobs that are a little difficult for various reasons and get put back… ie.. Parts hard to find, very intermittent faults, customer can’t decide if it’s worth spending $200 to repair his $100 turd… This pile I call the “Can Usually Not Today“ pile… yes you guessed it, the CUNT pile.

I actually really enjoy what I do… I’m just a grumpy old cunt I guess!

And yes I have been gluing more today…

6 gems of wisdom:

Poodles said...

I'm not sure I have ever seen so many cunty acronyms in on place before.

Sean the Blogonaut F.C.D. said...

So what you are saying is that you constantly have to put up with CUNTS.

Thump Thump Eyes said...

Aw....we love em all really:-D

Protium said...

Poodles: It's the glue :)

Sean: 60% show signs of it.

Thump: Absolutely. We just need a holiday.

We had a 100% creationist in yesterday. Thump did good butI was to afraid to get involved 'cause he was shitting me and I had too much work. He was wired!

T&A said...

Hey you grouchy old cunt, ;) Tag You're It!

Poodles said...

DAMN IT T&A beat me again! :P