Saturday, 13 October 2007

Two Ears

Thanks Fiery and Sean for the wonderful heartwarming comments on my pathetic attempt at blogging. I don't know why it seems so hard. It's mainly a time thing but everytime I start posting something I think "Who cares" and delete it... Maybe it's a learning thing for me.

However I was shitted the other day or was it more shocked...

I've been a bit crook the last week. I got a severe ear infection last Saturday and downed a box of painkillers hoping it would stay at bay until Monday when I could get to a doctor... by Sunday my face had swollen up and I was in agony. I remembered we have a customer who is a doctor and his last words were "If you every need any medical help... just ring" so on Sunday morning 8AM my wife rang his mobile and within half an hour we had a box of the strongest antibiotics known to man on the condition I saw him on Monday to get the official script to take back to the pharmacy (drug store Fiery).

On Monday I went to his practice to get a check over and the necessary script and was waiting patiently (excuse the pun) in his waiting room in central Bassendean. [Bassendean is known for it's great export to the world... Rolf Harris... who I'm sure everyone knows of] anyhoo I'm sitting waiting with a group of about 30 other people all watching a small TV. I'm opposite the group and can't see it but can hear it and observe all the others who are glued to it.

It became obvious pretty quickly it was the live telecast of a famous WA footballer's funeral.
I was fascinated by the intensity of the people watching this TV, nothing else mattered, they had tears in their eyes and looked at each other for support, holding hands etc quite moving I thought... BUT THEN 20 minutes of sermons and the praising of the lord and jesus dying for our sins and "he's" in a better place now and the final stupidity.... The Lord's Prayer... everyone bowed their head, men were teary, women were crossing their hearts, the receptionist ignored the phone... everything stopped and was silent except for the TV blurting out the Lord's Prayer... well almost silent... I couldn't help myself... through the intense pain I managed a small sheep's bleet... It was probably a bad thing to do but hey I was sick :)

I didn't get to see the reaction if any as it was my turn... and the first thing my doctor did was look in my other ear... to which I said "no it's this ear that's sore".. "Well god gave you two ears so I can see what a good one is supposed to look like" WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! Get me outta here!!!

I'm OK now...

14 gems of wisdom:

Sean the Blogonaut F.C.D. said...

See, that wasn't so hard was it : ).

I go with the philosophy that most of what I write is crap, this is just so I overide my inbuilt editor. That constant voice that says "why bother, or its not literature, or any other number of excuses"

This post of yours was great, maybe not Charles Dickens or Christopher Hitchens but it was entertaining.A nice little slice of life that your readers can share.

I would hope that the doctor would rely on a text book to know what a good ear should look like, and perhaps some years of experience - yikes!

Fiery said...

I hope you managed to suppress your thieving urges. (crook) I'd hate to see you thrown in jail (gaol) for petty theft when you're ear is swollen up like that. yikes! Oh, but thank you so much for taking the time to explain pharmacy!!!!! 'Cause I was thinking you meant a really great farm. Do people farm kiwis in Oz?

*rolls eyes* *sticks out tongue*

I almost pissed myself laughing at the sheep's bleat. GOOD ONE!!!!!!
I wonder if I'll ever have the guts to let that one fly.

Oh- and Sean....That's what god invented textbooks for as well.

Fiery said...

Speaking of farms, did you know that Mainy guy was also a cattle rancher on the side?

It is something he was rather ashamed of and tried to keep secret, but a few of his mates blew his cover....
Eagles star Ben Cousins joined the former footballer's two brothers, Glenn and Brett, among pallbearers who carried his casket, draped with his number three guernsey, into the chapel.

They even sacrificed his best milker in honor of the day. Poor Bessy (#3), dropped good calves that one. But, in honor of him, they draped her on his coffin. I'm surprised people weren't a bit shocked by that.

Protium said...

thanks Sean.. so you get that voice to...

Fiery... you really are having some language issues.

Funny thing about the shirt being called a guernsey in Australia... in New Zealand they are called Jerseys... which is also a breed of cow. And yes it is shocking to see them drapped over coffins but it just a custom over here ;-)

When done we turn them inside out and use them as Santa Claus suits.

Thanks for the support...

Protium

Fiery said...

Hey I'm doing the best I can with the vernacular!

But y'all make it confusin', ya know? Cause there's like 48 definitions for pissed like I'm only half through memorizin' 'em, ya know, and now i've gotta add like cows and shirts and crooks to the list.

hyup.

Protium said...

Are you taking the piss :)

I think you are doing well. I will issue a certificate if the next sentence makes sence to you.

"Mate, I got hammered last night I was so pissed. Pissed I got a hangover this morning but. Swigged heaps of water so I pissed most of it out. Let's go and sink some more piss"

Young Bogan

Fiery said...

Translation challenge:
You said "Mate, I got hammered last night I was so pissed. Pissed I got a hangover this morning but. Swigged heaps of water so I pissed most of it out. Let's go and sink some more piss"


A SEPO would have said...
"Dude, I swilled so much beer last night I got fucking smashed! I've got a bitch of a hangover this morning, though. Fucking dehydration! So I swilled about a gallon of water and now I've got to pee like a race horse. Pass the budlight!

Tattooed & Atheist (T&A) said...

That was a great post! Sometimes blogging is just story telling like this, others, well whatever strikes you as worthy writing about.

Oh, and I'm not taking the piss! (my best friend is a Kiwi) :)

Protium said...

thanks T&A

If your friend is from the South Island of NZ he is a true Kiwi. We don't talk about the North Island :)

I was fascinated by the fact (I assume) you are of Scotish descent and are tattooed & atheist. We have three things in common :)

Aye

Tattooed & Atheist (T&A) said...

Aye, we are alike in many a ways then!
My friend Jimmy will be interested to know he's not a real Kiwi then... :) Hell, he's lived here for 6 years, 5 in London before that. His folks say he sounds like a Yank when they talk to him on the phone, so maybe he really isn't a true Kiwi!

Richard said...

Hey, I liked your post too. I am not sure which about your doctor is worse, "god gave you two ears" or needing to "see what a good one looks like." Actually the latter is sometimes medically necessary and encouraged, but given your swelling etc. it may have been a routine for him.

My best friend was an atheist, and often scorned anything religious. When he died (idiotic use of cocaine ...he was a young anaesthesiologist!!!) his parents gave him a full blown religious funeral service, just like your footballer's (Fiery, that's a soccer player :-). Through my grief I could see him shaking his head and saying. "WtF, they know I hate this sh_t, and so do all my friends!"

Bleat!

Protium said...

Hi Richard. Thanks for popping by.

I sort of think the doc was comparing my "lived in" good ear so he had a reference and I think he used the god reference by default as he deals with a relatively older community. He's actually a muso customer of mine and always seems quite "normal" but next visit I will be asking the question...

It is sad about your friend and I am going to put in my will a clause regarding all that bullshit at my death.

tina said...

Ohhh..THE HORROR...the horror! Hope you're feeling better!

Protium said...

Hi Tina
Thanks for popping by.

I am fine now. :)